What is Positive Discipline?

Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their community.

While it's seems old school, I like the word discipline because it’s from the Latin word discipulus "learner" and discere "learn.” When we discipline our children, we support them to become learners. Research tells us that children are hardwired from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their family, community, and school are less likely to misbehave.

Jane Nelsen gives these 5 criteria for effective discipline*

  1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. Belonging and significance.

  2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. Kind and firm at the same time.

  3. Is effective long-term. Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.

  4. Teaches important social and life skills. Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school and larger community.

  5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.

The Positive Discipline model is aimed at teaching parents to employ kindness and firmness at the same time and is neither punitive nor permissive.

The tools of Positive Discipline include:

  • Mutual respect

  • Identifying the belief behind the behavior

  • Effective communication and problem solving skills

  • Discipline that teaches

  • Focusing on solutions instead of punishment

  • Encouragement

For more information, visit positivediscipline.org.

* Based on the Positive Discipline series by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, Cheryl Erwin, Kate Ortolano, Mary Hughes, Mike Brock, Lisa Larson and others.