Like most moms, one of my favorite times of day is when everyone is tucked in for the night, when I finally get to crawl into bed and choose from the stack of books on my nightstand. Tonight my son came in just as I exhaled… you’ve been there.

He asked,

Mom, will you come and lay with me while I go to sleep?

Important note: he’s 13… not 3!

Before I tell you what I did, flash back ten minutes before he entered my room. I’m reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly in which she references John Gottman’s “sliding door” moments. A sliding door moment is that seemingly inconsequential everyday moment that actually make or break the most important relationships in our lives. In this moment we have the possibility of connection or turning away. Of course it doesn’t boil down to one moment but the trend established over time. Gottman writes that trust erodes very slowly if we continue to turn away.

Back to this moment with my son. My body was bone weary and ached to stay in bed. However, in front of me was a clear choice between building and keeping connection or shutting the door and turning away.

I decided to pull myself out of bed and turn toward my son.

CONSIDER⇔SHARE⇔ACT